It has always been one of my strong beliefs that if you can’t laugh at yourself, you are taking life wayyyy to seriously. I mean come on, no one makes it out alive anyways! Ok, that was mildly morbid though true, but this was definitely one of those situations where I have spent a decent amount of time laughing at myself recently.
Since finishing college a year ago, I have been super focused on finding that special girl who I would meet, become great friends with, ask out, eventually ask to marry me, then happily marry! I mean, who doesn’t want to be a part of a great love story like that? There are reasons people enjoy stories like Pride and Prejudice, Romeo and Juliet, and the Notebook. Everyone wants to experience that fiery young love and hopes to eventually marry and develop a deep, unbreakable love that brings life to a good marriage. Unfortunately for me, I’ve been so lost in trying to write my love story that I’ve forgotten that all of them began with something less than immediate romance and love.
Sure, you may have been quite attracted to the person you married when you first met them, but I’m almost certain that y’all didn’t immediately get married just because you liked each other. The best of all love stories are those that began as fruitful friendships, budded into respectful and loving relationships, then bloomed within the security of marriage. I have been to over 10 weddings in the last two years and, by far, the most beautiful are the weddings where you get to witness two best friends getting married and committing to continue loving each other for life.
I will never forget the first wedding of two friends that I attended. We were in the back garden of a historic house in Annapolis, MD. At the bottom of a small hill, the groom was standing with all of the bridesmaids and groomsmen in front of a small chapel waiting for the bride to walk down the stone path that led from the house on top of the hill to the chapel. I remember seeing an enormous smile burst onto the groom’s face as he stood at the bottom of a hill, then looking back up the hill seeing the equally enormous smile on his bride’s face as she walked down with her father. In that moment you could tell how absolutely ecstatic they both were to be getting married. If there was any doubt, it was confirmed a few minutes late when the groom (normally a very quiet guy) shouted his “I do” at the top of his lungs for all of Annapolis to hear. So awesome!
Granted, there is a slight back story behind all of this for me. Until two years ago, I thought I would already be married at this point. I was going into my fourth year of a relationship with my girlfriend at the time and was looking for rings and trying to figure out the best way to ask her to marry me. Sadly, issues that we thought were minor struggles of being long distance grew into major gaps in our relationship. After a few months of intentional prayer and thought, we decided it was best for both of us to break up and go our separate ways (for many reasons). Soo yea, I left college without a girlfriend, let alone a wife. Hence, how I got lost in my imaginary love story in the first place.
Back to the part where you get to laugh at me. As I was down here searching sooooooo hard to find a girlfriend, I kinda forgot about the whole making friends part. Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of awesome guys who are solid friends here, but I am lacking in the solid lady friend category. (I do have a couple who managed to put up with me, though certainly due to their graciousness alone) By lady friend, I actually mean a lady who is a good friend, not any weird “friends with benefits” or abnormal friendship that people come up with now a days. Basically, in my focused search for a girlfriend, I’ve missed out on the awesome opportunities to be friends with many of the ladies around me. (Cue laughing at me for being a dummy!)
I think this is most certainly a struggle for many people my age who earnestly desire to be married, but can’t seem to find someone mutually interested in pursuing a relationship. I believe this to be a struggle since when we focus solely on finding a relationship, we judge and pursue people based on initial attraction and fail to allow for the time and friendships necessary to truly know people. As a result of this, I think I am hanging up my pen when it comes to trying to write my own love story. Instead, I am going to focus of building solid friendships with those ladies in my life and leaving the love story writing to the Author of Creation. (To be honest, I’m not that good of a writer anyways)
I must say though, I eagerly look forward to reading my love story when He finishes writing it! But first patience, all in His time.